December 22, 2015

LETS GO BACK IN TIME | A review of my 2015

(warning: this post is wordy as heck. TW: depression)

2015 has been quite the journey for me. I've gained some amazing friends and I've removed toxic ones. To be fair, when I decided to write this post, I was hesitant because I didn't do anything particularly amazing. I didn't travel abroad, I didn't donate a bunch of money to charity, I didn't even start a university course. 

The first few months were a blur. I worked in one of the most popular bars in my town which I had started working at in the previous year. I was halfway through doing my Level 3 Science and Psychology course after doing two years of A Level studies. Literally everything about the beginning of my year was average.

May came round, and I found what I honestly believe - pause for the most cringe thing you could possibly read - could be the love of my life and we made it an official 'hey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend' thing. I'd known his brother for years as we went to the same secondary school and we were even on the same Science course at college, so at that point we were pretty much best friends and got to know his brother (my boyfriend) pretty damn well.

Sadly, the second half of my year wasn't as great. I decided I didn't want to finish my college course as I'd previously done two years of A Level studies and looking back I feel so stupid for what I did. I was two months away from finishing the 1st year of the course but I couldn't hack the last bit of it so I left to take on more hours at my bar job. While I really did enjoy my time at work, I knew I couldn't be there much longer, working from 9PM to 4AM every Wednesday to Saturday was starting to take its toll on me and all I wanted was a stable day job. So I left my job and searched for a day job. The only problem is that I'm still searching 6 months on. I just can't seem to find the right job for me - I have the qualifications and my interview skills are really strong according to my interviewers, but I just wasn't being taken on. 

When October arrived, the thought of Christmas and my boyfriends birthday (28th of Dec) was looming ahead of me everyday, causing me serious stress as I knew I didn't have the funds for it, and I still don't. I thought a bit of luck came my way when I got the interview for the job that I've been wanting for years - a course for a dispensing assistant for a pharmacy. My interview went well and I scored top marks on the English and Maths test I was given. On my 20th birthday, 5 days after the interview, I was told that I didn't have the job. I was absolutely broken and cried non stop. I'd been in a bit of a rut for months now, constantly breaking down and not wanting to go out and enjoy myself any more. I knew what was happening to me, but I didn't want to admit it until then. I was taken to the doctor by my mother who had the same fear as me and I was diagnosed with depression for the second time in my life. I currently take tablets and I can have counselling whenever I feel I need it, but it didn't work out well last time so I am reluctant to try again.

Now we come to the end of November, freshly 'relapsed' and finding searching for jobs even harder. I was speaking to my friend Amy, who is the blogger behind Amys Thoughts and spoke to her about blogging and I became hooked. I've always liked writing about the things I enjoyed, and I needed something to occupy my thoughts to lift my spirits on the tough days and I just knew that blogging was the thing that'll do it for me - so I took the plunge and I haven't looked back since.

On the 25th (YAY CHRISTMAS), it'll be a month since I started on my little slice of heaven and I am excited for 2016 and the adventures I hope to have and how I hope I have a good year of recovery.

How was your 2015? What are your hopes for the next year?


Mollie. <3
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8 comments

  1. 2016 will be waaaaaaay better for you! I'm glad you started blogging, I love your little blog! x

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    1. Lets hope so! 2015 weren't like, the worst year of my life though so I'm thankful for that! I'm glad you got me in to it and thank you darlin x

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  2. You are both amazing girls, be proud of your achievements to date :-)

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  3. I hope that 2016 brings you all you need and wish for. Well done on starting your blogging journey - here's to many more posts!!

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    1. Thank you, hope you have a great 2016 too and hope you had a lovely Christmas!x

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  4. This is such a wonderful, honest post and I really feel for you. Last year I consistently kept getting rejected for jobs, and when it's something you really really want, it's an absolutely heartbreaking thing to happen. I really hope that 2016 brings you happiness - honestly, things will get better. <3

    Milly
    Mini Adventures

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    1. It sucks so much when its something you really want isn't it? Hopefully 2016 changes all that for me too and thank you, hope you have a great year too and hope you had a lovely Christmas:) x

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